As a parent, our lives are constantly moving and keeping up with the demands of work, parenting, and managing a household is overwhelming. So, before we dive into how to understand ADHD from your child’s perspective, I want you to take a moment for some self-compassion. This shit is hard and we are all doing the best we can with the tools and information we have been given.
Now it is time to put yourself in your child’s shoes.
Imagine what it feels like to try so hard to do simple tasks that your friends and younger siblings do with ease, but when you do them, they seem impossibly difficult.
Imagine seeing the face of exasperation day after day as you receive yet another reminder to hurry up, sit still, or fix the mess you made in a moment of creativity.
Imagine hearing the disappointment in everyone’s voice as they tell you how you could be doing better because you have so much potential and the shame you feel when you can’t live up to those expectations.
Imagine trying to focus on something, but your brain keeps turning up the volume on everything around you, and suddenly it’s impossible to know where to focus your attention.
Imagine having good intentions to do what you know you need to do, but your faulty memory lets you down again.
Would you keep trying? Would you trust your brain? Would you feel confident? Would you ask for help?
Like many kids with ADHD, you would probably live your life in fear and shame. Fear that you will fail once again. Shame for letting people down and constantly disappointing them. And even though you try so hard every day, you begin to hold back. If you can’t do the easy stuff, why would you try something new and risk failure again?!
So, the next time you get frustrated because they forgot to do their chores, struggled to clean their room, or failed to turn in that homework assignment, put yourself in your child’s shoes. Take a moment to consider that they are trying their best but something is getting in the way.
